Not Quite Narwhal by Jessie SimaMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
NOT QUIT NARWHAL
BY JESSIE SIMA
PUBLISHED BY: SIMON & SCHUSTER BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS
YEAR: 2017
AGE: 4+
PAGES: 34
A lot of author/illustrators lean heavily on their art to tell their stories. Often they leave pages without words allowing the pictures to move the plot. Jessie Sima is an author with the skills to illustrate their ideas allowing them to create a whole story on their own. But I think Sima does a pretty good job of maintaining a balance of words and art in this book.
To demonstrate this let’s take the story away from the artwork and break it down. I’m going to try something new from now on. I’m going to label the parts of the scene as I go along to study how scene structure works with pacing of successful picture books. Follow along with me and see if you agree with my labels.
P1: Copyright
P2: Title Page
P3 - P4: Kelp was born deep in the ocean.
P5: He knew early on the he was different from the other narwhals. His tusk wasn’t as long as everyone else’s. He had different tastes in food.
(Goal: be like the others)
P6: and he wasn’t a very good swimmer.
P7 - P8: But his friends didn’t seem to mind, so Kelp decided he wouldn’t either.
(Obstacle: not minding that you’re not like the others)
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| author/ill Jessie Sima |
picture books we’ve studied have their mc fully introduced before page ten. Something to work on if you, like me, are trying to get a picture book published. The writer also, in very few words, and very short sentences gives us a sense of the mc’s struggle and his personality as well a sense of just how little he knows about himself (calling his horn a tusk and all that). This works well even without the illustrations.
P9-P10: That is, until he was swept away by a strong current. “I wish I were a better swimmer!”
(Disaster: If only I was like the others!)
P11: Kelp found himself at the surface, closer to land than he’d ever been before.
P12: High up on a cliff he spotted a mysterious, sparkling creature. It looked so familiar. It looked like . . . . Kelp!
P13: Kelp swam towards land as fast as he could, which wasn’t very fast at all, hoping that he could catch up with the creature that looked just like him.
(Reaction: What is this new thing?)
P14: When he finally reached the shore, Kelp felt a little bit anxious - he hd never left the ocean. He was nervous about walking for the first time, but the land creatures made it look so easy!
(Dilliema: Do I turn back and continue as I’ve been? Or do I try something new?)
P15: “Off”. It wasn’t. “Ow.”
P16: Eventually he got the hand of it.
(Decision: Try something new. )
P17: Everything on land was strange and beautiful - but also kind of scary.
(New Goal: Because I tried something new I should try to find that creature)
End of scene marks the beginning of ACT II
P18: Kelp began to think he might never find the creature that looked just like him. But as he stumbled out of the forest . . . PT (Obstacle: Doubt.)
P19: LAND NARWHALS!
P20: “Actually, we’re unicorns. And, by the looks of I, so are you!”
(Disaster: He finds not one but many! And learns something new about himself!)
P21: Kelp had never heard of unicorns before. They taught him all sorts of new things about his tusk. “We call them horns.” “Wow!”
They introduced him to unicorn delicacies,
P22: and they showed him how to gallop. There was no doubt that Kelp was, in fact, a unicorn. He was having so much fun that he didn’t want to leave. PT
(Reaction: Self-discovery)
P23: But then he remembered all of his friends under the sea.
(Dilliema: Homesickness; Should I stay or should I go?)
P24: Kelp missed them terribly, so he said good-bye to the unicorns and returned to the ocean. “Come back soon!” PT
(Decision: Return home a new person!)
End of Scene 2 beginning of ACT III
P25 Kelp swam towards home as fast as he could, which wasn’t very fast at all, hoping that he narwhals would still like him now that he was a unicorn.
(New Goal: Seek acceptance from my old friends.). Note of repeating here. It’s not Gold mark of threes but it still works very nicely.
P26: When he finally arrived, Kelp had butterflies in his stomach. “Kelp!” “Welcome home!”
(Obstacle: Nervous to speak)
P27: Kelp took a deep breath and told his friends the news. “It turns out … I’m not a narwhal!” “Of course you aren’t.”
P28: “I’m. Unicorn!” “We all knew that.” They took it quite well. PT
(Disaster: They already knew and accepted him right away. No need to leave home forever. But probably tones of questions about no body every mentioned this before!)
29: Kelp was happy to be home, but now that he’d experienced life on land with the unicorns he couldn’t seem to forget them.
(Reaction: He’s torn between two homes that accept him for who and what he is.)
P30: Did he want to be a land narwhal with the unicorns . . . Or a sea unicorn with the narwhals? Kelp couldn’t decide. But then he realized that maybe . . . PT
(Dillema: Does he go off to live with own kind? Or stay with the people that raised him from birth?)
P31-P32: just maybe…
P33-P34 he didn’t have to choose.
(Picture book ending of not having to choose because kids.)
Three full beautiful scenes in three full beautiful ACTs.
It’s important to note, for those who don’t know that the term “disaster” is used in the scene writing as the big release of tension that was built up by the goal and obstacles. It doesn’t always have to be bad such as here were the disasters were really very good and just flooded the story with rainbows.
Go back through your own stories and mark the scenes as I’ve done here. Do your beats land in roughly the same page counts? Do you have three full complete scenes? Remember word count, and pages are still very important.
MY TAKEAWAY
WOW! A coming out story, a coming of age story, a pretty message about acceptance wrapped in a sweet candy coated package that some parents can over look and ignore if they wish to. It is always so heartwarming to see a fish out of water find the feathers he should flock with.
It reminds me of the first time my friends and I attended a “nerd convention”. It was Anime Weekend Atlanta (aka AWA) in Georgia. We were the only three anime nerds in her high school, and until we’d met each other we’d been alone in our various fandoms. So to go to such a place where people were not only celebrating the very shows we were picked on for liking back home - to see people personifying our favorite characters; to be welcomed and celebrated just for being there was like finding a secret paradise of unicorns in the wood - magical! It was such an amazing feeling, I wish it on anyone.
The whole scene were Kelp comes out of the woods and discovers a world of beings that are like himself is what unicorn magic is all about. They teach him how to be himself, how to love himself, and set him free to be happy. He takes his new identity home to his old friends not sure how they will take this new discovery. It’s a glorious story. I wish more people had Kelp’s experience.
The illustrations do add a lot to the story but as you’ve seen they are not necessary for understanding the plot. They enhance but do not tell the story. In this Jesse Sima proves to be a unicorn as well.
Next up the Bedtime Breakdown where I read this lovely little story to my two year old and see how it changes my perspective on the story.
BEDTIME BREAKDOWN
She was super tired while we read this one to be honest. She did identify the narwhale as being the same as one of her favorite stuffed animals. And squealed at the big reveal of the unicorn paradise. I realized that this was her first unicorn experience as she stared at all the rainbows with dazzled eyes and tried to hug the book. Girls and their rainbows, I swear!
I don’t think she’s old enough to get much out of the story though. Do you have a older kid between four and eight? Please comment below of their reaction to this lovely story!
If you like this story please consider supporting the creator by purchasing from your favorite local bookstore. You can find more information about Jessie Sima here.
And more about me by checking my main site: pbyeary.com. Thanks for stopping by.
I’ll see you on the next page!