Chicken Lily by Lori MortensenMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Chicken Lily
By Lori Mortensen
Published: Henry Holt and Company
Year: 2016
Ages: 4-8
Pages: 40
Words:
Chicken Lilly is an excellent example of a perfect picture book opening.
Let’s study how the opening lines of a good story can affect the story overall.
P1: Copyright
P2: Title Page
P3: space
P4: Lily was a lot of things: PT
P5: A careful colorer; a patient puzzler,
P6: and the quietest hide-and-seeker. She never made a peep!
But Lil was also something else . . . .
PT
P7:
Chicken.
While her friends zoomed around on their bikes, Lily rode with training wheels. Cluck, rattle, rattle cluck, rattle, rattle.
P8:
“Look! No hooves!” Shouted Pigsley.
“When are you going to take off your training wheels, Lily?” Asked Baabette.
“Someday,” said Lily. But she wished she could keep them on forever. PT
This intro is my favorite part of this story. In just two short sentences we are shown Lilly’s personality and character.
We have been shown, through her hobbies that Lilly is careful, patient, and quiet. She’s also averse to trying new things.
Try this with your POV character. Use three hobbies to “show” their dominate characteristics. It’s harder than it seems.
Then pages seven and eight lay the foundation for the plot by building on Lily's fear of trying new things. This is what the rest of the story will build upon.
Even the page turns, which are edited to slow down the eyes thus the reader, show of how calm Lilly is. You can’t read these first pages quickly. The reader is in Lilly’s state of mind as we progress through the story.
The example of the bicycle further expands upon the list of characteristics. Lily is adverse to trying new things, because she prefers the stability of the familiar.
She is choosing to take her time, no one is forcing her to.
P9:
Ill
P10
At school, Lily never raised her wing, even when she knew the answer.
“Why did the chicken cross the road?” Asked her teacher, Mrs. Lop.
Paws shot up all around the room.
“To go to the store?”
“To play at the park?”
“Because it was time to go home?”
To get to the other side, thought Lily. But Lil didn’t make a peep. PT
This further develops the previous stated characteristic that Lilly is quiet. “She doesn’t make a peep.” Not when she’s playing hide and seek, and not even in class when she knows the answer.
It’s worth noting the repetition of the line “didn’t make a peep”. Kids love repetition because it helps them to understand the story; it reinforces the point that Lilly is a quiet person. But repetition can be tedious for adults reading the story. This is done in a way that the adult reader isn’t bored by it, because here it introducing the possible problem for the first time.
Sure, being quiet during hide-seek is advantageous. But refusing to speak up in class is not. She could be hurting her grade, and it shows a lack of self-esteem. While children are finding a relatable character to listen about, parents are finding familiar conflict to reflect on.
P11
At lunch, Lily turned up her beak no matter what was served.
“Haystacks?”
“Sloppy Joes?”
P12
“Shepherd’s pie?”
Lily shook her head and pecked at her sack of chicken feed.
“You’re just chicken,” said Bassbette.
“What if it tastes yucky?” Said Lily.
“What if it tastes good?”
Lily wasn’t taking any chances.
PT
Again reinforcing with yet another, but not redundant, example of Lilly’s aversion to trying new things. A picky eater is familiar to parents; kids to are often afraid to try new foods. The writer used some foods that a child obviously wouldn’t try, but right there in the middle is Sloppy Joes, an American childhood favorite that most kids listening to this story probably enjoy. But Lilly won’t try it. This introduces a bit of added conflict to the story. The listener may have switched sized now and may want Lilly to try something new.
A good introduction continues to echo throughout the story. The main character has been introduced. Lilly is a quiet careful chicken who is afraid to try new things. But we know that something is coming to challenge that! What could it be? How will she over come it?!
The writer has a challenge. At this point the story risks sending the message that shy, quiet kids are bad or that kids like Lilly have a problem that must be solved. Parents are trying to build self-esteem, not break it down, so they will read along carefully to see what exactly is the message here?
Writer beware! Make sure your message is clear and positive!
Act 2
P13
“The next day, Mrs. Lop posted a big notice on the bulletin board.
Grand-Slam Poetry Jam
Do you like to write in Rhyme?
Want to have a real good time?
Grab your pen and write, write, write!
Read your poem tomorrow night.
P14
“I can’t wait!” Bleated Baabette.
“Me neither!” Squealed Pigsley.
“I can wait,” Lily clucked to herself. Just thinking about reciting a poem in front of everyone sent shivers down her tail feathers. PT
Ugh, public speaking! The worst possible thing! Even people who aren’t shy by nature buckle under the pressure of public speaking! This may not be something the youngest of listeners have had to deal with yet, but it’s coming and their parents know it. The readers are reflecting on their own experiences and suddenly they too may be feeling a little of Lily’s pain in this moment.
P15
Lily moped about for the rest of the day. She couldn’t help thinking of all the things that might go wrong. What if she sounded like a complete birdbrain.
What if she fell flat on her beak?
What if she laid an egg?
P16
That night, Lily hatched a plan. She grabbed a pencil and wrote very carefully. PT
There is that repetition from the introduction again. “She wrote very carefully” because we all know Lilly is careful colorer and therefore a careful writer.
P17
The next day, Lil unfurled a long list in front of her teacher. I can’t be in the poetry jam, Mrs. Lop,” said Lily. “I’ve got too much to do.”
Feather my nest
Put all my eggs in one basket
Count my chickens before they hatch.
Cross the road.
Give a bawk bawk here, and a bawk bawk there.
Lily held her breath hopefully, there was no way she’d have to be in the Grand-Slam poetry Jam now.
P18
Ill; PT
P19
But to her surprise, Mrs. Lop held up her list like a gem.
“Look at this fine handwriting,” exclaimed Mrs. Lop. “Anyone who writes this well must be in the poetry jam.”
I’ve learned from writing short stories that 1. You must set these tools up in the first act. 2. You can only use each of these tools once in a story 3. One of these tools must make things worse for the protagonist.
Here we find that Lily’s careful penmanship backfires and leads her to even more distress.
For better information on setting up the tools throughout your story I suggest you read Octavia Butler’s anthology of short stories “Bloodchild”.
At the end of the book is an essay written by Butler on the writing process. Butler's lessons are brief but profound. She offers some wonderful advice on plotting, and laying clues throughout the story the same way Mortensen has done with Chicken Lily. (By the way Bloodchild is sooo not for kids. ah-ham)
P20
Lily nearly molted.
“You’re just chicken,” said Baabette. Lily didn’t want to think about it. PT
P21
But not thinking about it was impossible.
At lunch, Pigsley joked “Broccoli looks just like trees. Maybe I’ll write a poem about that.”
At recess, Baabette clapped and sang. “Pat-acake, pat-a-cake, baker’s man. Make me a poem as fast you can!”
P22
Posters were everywhere. PT
P23
After school, Lily went home and tied red ribbons around her coop to make it poem-free zone.
But her friends only wrote more poems.
Ribbons are red.
Violets are blue
We love to write poems!
How about you?
P24
“Stop being silly,” said Baabette. “The poetry jam is tonight. You have to have a poem.
“No, I don’t, said Lily stubbornly. She shut her eyes and covered her ears. When she opened her eyes . . . PT
P25
. . . Everyone was gone.
Lily felt like a rotten egg. Deep down, she knew Baadette was right. The only thing worse than reading a poem would be standing onstage with no prom at all.
Wow, way to write the lonely introvert experience! Lily is quiet. It’s hard for quiet people to make friends. It’s usually the more playful and boisterous personalities that adopt a quiet kid into their friend group. So for all of Lily’s friends to be excited about this, and for them to pushing her into it is scary and alienating enough. But then for them all to suddenly leave - that is scary social pressure right there. It almost says, if I don’t try to do this … I’ll be alone forever.
Again, the page turns and the ellipsis are used to slow the reader. The affect here to show the sudden vastness of her friend’s departure. She wanted to be alone, but once she is its kind of a scary feeling. Now, at least, she can think.
ACT III
P26
So Lily began to write. Just a little.
One letter, then another.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G . . .
Lily decided that writing a poem was sort of like putting together a puzzle.
Lily was good at puzzles.
When she finished, the only question was - would she, could she, read it in front of everyone? PT
Here at last Lily’s third and final tool comes out. She’s a patient puzzler. Now that everything has settled down, that little bit from the beginning is brought back into ACT III. Therefore, we are not surprised when she presents this tool to solve the problem. It fits with her character, and we realize that writing poetry actually fits in with her personality type as well. We can imagine that perhaps this will be a new thing that Lily may enjoy for the rest of her life.
But there is still the looming conflict; the pressure of public speaking!
P27
That night, Lily crowded onto the stage with the rest of her class. One by one, Lily’s friends got up and read their poems.
P28
“Broccoli is my favorite food. I like it best with cheese. But what I really like the most is how it looks like trees!” PT
P29
Then it was Lily’s turn. She wished she could fly the coop. As she walked to the microphone, the audience smiled and clapped. Her friends did too. Lil could and would read her poem.
Social pressure positive. “You are doing what we are doing! You are doing well! Keep going!” This is very powerful encouragement.
P30
“A, B, C, D, E, F, G . . . . Writing poems is fun for me. When we’re done and out the door, I’ll go home and write some more!” PT
The resolution is simple if not relatable. Some people find their voice in a crowd, many more loose it. I’m a bit of an introvert but I’ve never frozen up in front of a crowd, only because I was more afraid of freezing than speaking.
I imagine other parents reading this story end up reflecting on some moments in their past. They may even open up and share a few stories with their kids.
The point here wasn’t that the poem had to be good. The point was to get Lily to try something new and scary. As a result she may have found a new hobby. As Baabette said: “What if you like it?”
P31
Lily was a lot of things: a careful colorer; a patient puzzler, and the quietest hide-and-seeker. (She never made a peep.)
But Lily was also something else . . . PT
P32
Chicken.
Just not all the time.
The end reflects the beginning as all good stories should. The character has gone full circle but is changed for the better. She is still careful, quiet, and patient - because it’s ok to be a Lily. She’s still adverse to trying new things, because she’s still chicken. But at least now she will try some new things some times. Which is all a parent can ask for.
END
This is a sweet easy to read book. The story and illustrations work together so well that it almost seems like the author was the illustrator. I’d like to know how closely they worked together in the creation of this book, because everything from the page turns, to the backgrounds adds to to rhythm of this story.
The story itself felt like poetry.
Chicken Lily is a sweet character you feel for her, because public speaking is the worst! How is she the only nervous one in class?
The only thing that throws me off are all the egg jokes - just because I’m also a biology nerd and Lily’s mention of eggs makes me wonder how old she is and where are her parents. (I know! Overthinking it!) But I’d die if I was on stage trying to read a poem to whole school and my period started right there in front of everyone! I’d have to change schools. Move out of the city. I just . . . Can’t.
Bedtime Breakdown
My girl loves this book. Of course at her age she’s mostly charmed by the illustrations. She doesn’t get the drama of public performance or shyness yet. She likes the goat, William, who is constantly eating in the background. She did get a kick out of the “cluck-rattle-rattle-cluck” part though.
That being said she’s asked me to read it her three times in a row. So, there must be something else she’s getting from the story that she can’t communicate with me.
Reading it out loud to her is easy. It feels longer than it is somehow, I think from Lily’s anxiety?Or perhaps it’s because there is so much going on in the illustrations that it takes us a while to turn the pages. As mentioned it is edited to be read slowly and carefully.
Either way, it’s one of her favorites.
If you enjoyed this story please buy it from your favorite book seller.
Learn more about the author, Lori Mortensen, here.
Learn more about me, here.
And if you'd like to help me out, please consider purching this book through my Amazon Associates Link
I’ll see you on the next page.